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By James Whitworth
Prudential, UK. The worst music-on-hold ever in the entire history of the world.
Now of course I’m curious. The Northwell Health hold music here in New York is cheesy beyond belief.
The Prudential UK plays an excerpt from The Four Seasons. It repeats on a one-minute loop. But it starts at some arbitrary point within the piece, and loops mid-piece one minute later, so there is no pretense of it being conceived as something someone might be vaguely interested in listening to. In addition, it sounds like it has been “demastered” down to something that sounds like a 2-bit 4kHz format (I’m serious!), so the sound quality is so horrendous that no audio philistine ever born could fail to notice it. This is an elaborate computerized corporate phone system, not a relic from 1976. This has been very specifically designed. It sends the most disingenuous message possible that Pru UK wants you to FOAD and not bother them.
I’d never seen the acronym FOAD die before. It took me a few seconds to get it…
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