A few years ago, I convinced a friend to attend our weekly “Tea Parties.” Tristan’s never been much of a social butterfly and I was hoping to make his senior years more enjoyable.
We tend to discuss any and all subjects at these sessions including religion and politics. Such dialog can be stimulating and informative so long as it remains rational and civil – which should come naturally to mature friends.
But instead of contributing his point of view, he kept silent and seethed under his breath whenever the conversation challenged his creed. After a few weeks, he “cancelled” his participation in the Tea Parties and its organizer – me. Cancellation is the current euphemism for ostracizing someone who doesn’t share your ideology.
In his e-mail, he wrote, “I don't think I can be friends with anyone who harbors your beliefs.”
If we’d become friends recently, maybe I’d understand, but we’ve been going to audio shows together for decades. If I’d changed my views during that time, maybe he’d be justified, but I've been consistent since the day we met. So either he’s changed his dogma, or he’s become more radicalized.
Cancellation has been practiced for centuries by political and religious organizations. Sanctimonious patriarchs excommunicated truth-tellers like Socrates, Galileo, Spinoza, Luther, and Kepler rather than re-evaluate their world view.
Countless families and social groups today are equally sanctimonious. Rather than engage in productive dialog to foster understanding, they employ insults, ad hominem attacks, and cancellation.
It’s one thing to harbor a dogma, it’s another to prioritize it over people. A dogma won’t fetch a stick, share a beer, or engage in meaningful conversation. Taken to the extreme, dogma can become fanaticism.
The Crusaders of the 12th century justified looting, burning, and killing by insisting that they held the moral high ground. Today’s moral crusaders do exactly the same thing. Do they really believe that anarchy is the way to promote tolerance and inclusion? That’s like sponsoring spring break to promote celibacy.
Jesus preached, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” – Matthew 5:9
The Buddha contended that “attachment is the cause of all suffering.” If history is any indication, that’s especially true of attachment to dogma.
Julian Braebourne wrote, “Prioritizing creed over camaraderie is a pretentious conceit which always leads to conflict.”
The regulars at our Tea Party understand that. Perhaps, one day, Tristan will too.
Luncheon of the Boating Party by Pierre-Auguste Renoir. Courtesy of Wikipedia/public domain.
Header image courtesy of B. Jan Montana.
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