May 21, 2022
 by Paul McGowan

Getting ones dander or hackles up in response to some statement or bit of information is an involuntary reaction. We haven’t any control over it.

Recently chatting with a friend who was telling me a form of meat he likes “had no calories” got my dander up. My engineering nerd brain just fired off an immediate challenge.

“Not true,” I flatly stated. Calories are a measure of energy and pretty much anything you eat or drink (other than maybe water) has calories. If it didn’t have calories you wouldn’t derive any energy from it.

That challenge to his worldview got my friend’s hackles up. And the arguments flew.

It wasn’t until a calmer person in the crowd gently pointed out that perhaps my friend might have been meaning to say “had no fat”.  Which, of course, is what he really meant.

When my daily reading turns to our forums I see evidence of rising dander for the very same reasons. One statement is made and a bunch of folks jump in feet first.

Like me, their involuntary light switch flicks on when a piece of the puzzle doesn’t fit.

I think we could all benefit if there were a way to slow down just a smidge. Might make for a friendlier online meeting place.

Which, in the end, is what we’re all searching for.

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33 comments on “Dander”

  1. I disagree Paul; we DO have control over it.
    The secret (not very secret) is to ask questions;
    to inquire further; to explain & to discuss.
    I can, of course, only speak for myself.

    What gets my dander up is when commenters come here & display an inordinate amount
    of unnecessary arrogance & are wilfully antagonistic towards anyone who is not in complete
    lockstep with their narrow point of view, & if that narrow point of view is challenged (questions
    asked & a different point of view put forward) then the personal insults start being fired.

    I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again that I use sarcasm & a little bit of friendly ball-breaking
    for laughter & amusement here on ‘Paul’s Posts’; it’s the English/Australian way.
    I’ve said all that I can possibly say about my disdain for the CCP here on Paul’s Posts
    & therefore I will stay right away from that subject-matter from now on.

    1. Well, that’s great, Martin! I applaud your control. I need to learn more of it.

      I think my point though was that all of us feel the instant reaction. We can’t help it. It comes from our ancient lizard brain at the back of our neck. The amygdala. No escape.

      What we CAN do, as you suggest you have mastered, is control our response to it. That’s excellent and quite an accomplishment.

    2. Well said, Martin and I’m thankful I understand your humor and sarcasm.

      You certainly cover a good basis of Paul’s post, but it is the level of self control most of us have to work on, but it is extremely hard sometimes! Holding back is something I definitely do quite a bit because I read some incredibly bias-product of your time bullshit responses and it is difficult to not want the urge to correct these responses. Sifting through the dander is the best way to go. Paul has a decent point, but again where we run into difficulty is that not everyone really understands who we truly are as people. Online will always be online. 😉

  2. Mr. Rat!
    Greetings old friend (mate). I have been away for many months. Upon my return it seems you are still as lively as ever. Cheers!

    After 30 years in sales, I have finally made a career change for the better. Stress levels at an all time low now. As a result my Dander has never been Blander!

    As for the CCP, I need some catching up here. Does that stand for Center Channel Phantom? Crossover Control Parameter? Cardioid Chip Polarity?


    1. Ha!!
      I was just thinking about you today…no BS…& I was going to fire off
      an e-mail to see how you are faring, & here you are…great minds… 😉
      I’m glad to hear, as I’m sure everyone else is, that you are cheerin’.
      I’ve missed your humour & it’s nice to have you ‘drop-in’ here.

      1. Yes sir – good to catch up on some posting here. I drop in to read occasionally but rarely post. This community has some great minds, so I feel my contributions are on the level of “court jester” lol. So I remain in the shadows when it comes to technology, engineering and intellect – but still out there performing loud & raw as a DJ and Drummer – sharing my love for great music. Rough around the edges and off the grid. Put that on my tombstone.

          1. Thank you!
            Back to the topic of dander,
            I must report with candor.
            Dismissing gear on specs alone?
            A guilty plea to slander.
            So we listen with our ears,
            And feel with our hearts.
            The gut becomes commander.
            Music is an art for all
            Let the joy be our expander.

  3. Any thought to maybe the dander gets up because of each reader’s interpretation of the written word with their own emphasis?

    Some posts and comments are meant to stir things up. That can be a good way to get people to look at things differently, or with a more open mind. Or if nothing else, raise awareness.

    But then again once the hackles rise, the ability to consider or “hear” any other point of view greatly diminishes.

    It’s when some one becomes so entrenched in a point of view regarding something that is totally subjective that emotions take over and things can become “ugly”.

    There’s some personalities or people each of us will never like, but that where basic civility is supposed to come into play.

  4. I treat the Paul’s Post forum (and others like it) like an online magazine, but with the added benefit of reading others people’s comments. I read to get information, post some thoughts and have the benefits of hearing the thoughts of others.

    It’s different than “fix it” or technical forums, which require back and forth conversation to solve an issue.

      1. Good morning DJ B-O-B!
        I too, am a fellow DJ myself.
        Granted that, I haven’t been in the clubs, or on the air in a few years.
        I yoost to set here, at my computer, and post the day or night away.
        And what you said about listening to the products with both your ears and heart instead of looking at the specs, is right on the money man!
        I won’t say any names, but I got harshly criticized for what I said, which is true about both Legacy Audio and MTX subwoofers.
        The men that are on this list that harshly criticized me, weren’t there when I heard, what I heard.
        Those subs were cranked all the way up.
        I didn’t hear the first sign of distortion.
        One told me to have my ears check, then I can talk or type, quote on quote.
        I may be a blind man, but I know what I’ve listened to.
        So there for, I know what I’m talking about.
        But some fokes don’t get that.
        But then again, everybody has both their own personal preferences, and their own personal experience with audio equipment.
        So, what I say is, let’s just agree, to disagree.
        Don’t you feel the same way my fellow coworker?

        1. Hello John. Nice to see another DJ on here. DJ’s often get disrespect for many reasons, some valid, most not. I was not blessed with natural talent to be a musician. So I tried the nurture path instead with many lessons and trying many different instruments. Long story short. neither nature nor nurture allowed me to be a musician. But that long story never dampened my love and passion for music. So I play drums for fun and DJ for real. And I enjoy all the “toys” of both endeavors! And unlike the couch surfing snob-nerds that pass judgement as passive intellects, we are actually out in the real world of imperfection – performing, giving joy. and getting laid! Cheers to enjoying life and music and experimenting with all types of gear!!!

          Mic drop here.

          1. Hi again djB-O-B!
            Truth be told, I miss being out there, on the road doing my thingg.
            If I wasn’t in a club somewhere, running the dance floor, I was in a studio somewhere, cutting records for what would be, superstars.I can play some musical instruments.
            The drums, happens to be one of them.
            I also, plade keyboards too.
            But the only instrument that I can play that involves wend, is the floot.
            But today, I’m trying to save up enough money, to build my own recording studio, here in this house.
            I already have the main foundation of the studio sat up, but there is some room for improvement.
            I just need a completely transparront truly balanced tube amp.
            And I need a recording desk.
            Preferably, one that’s full of tubes.
            And, my goll is, to uptain a digital moltitrack recorder that can spit out DSD files, of many sonic strinth.
            This is why, right today, I got a job with The State Of Florida.
            Forty hour five day working weeks, brings me, $12 per hour.
            After taxes and social sucurity, my take home pay, is about $1000, every two weeks.
            This is why, I don’t post anything on here, as much as I yoost to.
            My job with The State Of Florida, pretty much keeps me away from this computer.
            But I still digitally remaster old records in my spare time.

  5. My opinion is that it takes a heap of experience before one can or should feel comfortable about making statements that they believe are correct. (Witness Covid comments.) I have been doing audio as long as most anyone (since the mid ’60’s and as a second generation dealer) and, geez, even I make an error every decade or so. ☺

  6. Paul, losers and trolls are not looking for are a friendly meeting place, they only have a degree of power on their keyboards as like I said they are losers.

  7. Remaining civil is one of my weak points and I have to work very hard to do so. When I am at home I relax and the worst of me comes out. If I had a $5 bill for every time my wife has said to me “You know they cannot hear you” as I expounded on what I thought of some dumba$$ newscaster, the new itself or a politician being interviewed on the TV, I would have been able to retire ten years sooner than I did. 😮

    1. I too find myself screaming at the TV or the computer knowing damn well they cannot hear me or it won’t make a damn difference. Kind of like a coach or manager screaming at a ref or umpire for what they believe to be a bad call. They know it won’t change a thing but it’s more about blowing off steam.

      They say it’s not good to hold things in. Could cause a nervous breakdown.

      I don’t care what people say. I’m all about free speech and debate. Get it off your mind. Sure you have to not get carried away and carry on too long or spoil an online thread.

      The world has become so fake that people are offended by the truth. And there are too many people who don’t understand the difference between opinion and facts or opinion and truth and and many cases spew false facts and don’t even know it. Many people who truly believe they are right don’t know WTF they are talking about.

      The mainstream media and pseudo science has done a good job of brainwashing so many people. Or people just are not understanding. Not everyone are smart on all subjects.

      You’re entitled to your own opinion not your own facts. Even online fact checkers that have been used for political purposes had to admit in court under oath that a lot of their fact checks are actually opinion or in many cases political propaganda.

    2. I used to go on the internet because someone had something wrong.

      Then I took a magic pill and now I am content to leave them in their ignorance.

      Really— why do we feel we must correct them?

      1. Ah, lama meat. I did some quick research. Lama has half the fat content of pork and beef. Skinless turkey and venison may have less fat than lama. If you eat a large lama steak you could intake the same amount of fat as a small pork or beef steak. There are other factors as well, such as the percentage of different types of fat: saturated vs. monounsaturated, and what type of food the animal ate. Surprisingly, ham has less fat than most beef.



  8. Paul. I think we are talking about humility (or varying degrees of lack thereof).

    Some see humility as weakness or as a milk toast personality, and this is a cultural aberration.

    I have known many people with sharp minds and wits that are beautifully humble.

    The balance of mind-based and heart-based living is key.

  9. I occasionally go on Audiogon to see what used gear they post and venture into their forums. Woo lots of big egos and a closed core of people.They are on the whole helpful to novices like me but there are it seems always a few folks( as it seems in many groups) that have to belittle the person posting for some laps in providing information or lack of understanding, even poor grammar.
    Further, this dichotomy between tube and SS seems to bring out the beast in many. As Rodney King so wishfully stated, “why can’t we all just get along”.

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