Twisted Systems

So a Drummer Walks Into a Bar….

Issue 64

A little light summer diversion:

-What is the difference between a drummer and a pepperoni pizza?

A pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four.


-What do throw a bass player who’s drowning?

His amplifier.


-What is the difference between a lead singer and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.


-Why do guitar players put drumsticks on the dashboard of their cars?

So they can park in handicap spaces.


-How does a lead singer change a light bulb?

He holds the bulb in one hand and waits for the world to revolve around him.

-Why do drummers’ cars have poor gas mileage?

Because the Domino’s Pizza delivery sign on the car roof isn’t very aerodynamic.

-How do you stop a lead guitarist from playing?

Put sheet music in front of him.

-Why do drummers always knock on your front door?

Because they don’t know when to come in.

-How do you know a drummers drum platform is level?

Because the drool coming out of his mouth is even on both sides.




A guitar player walks up to his lead singer and says:

“Hey man, when we do “Stairway to Heaven” tonight, the first verse is in the key of “E’. The second verse is is going up a half step then, after the guitar break we will drop a full step on the last verse.”

The lead singer looks perplexed and says to the guitar player,  “What asshole would modulate and screw up a song like that?’

“That’s exactly what you did last night!” responds the guitar player….


More coming in Pt. 2

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