Respect
Join Our Community Subscribe to Paul's PostsRespect is what Aretha Franklin sang about, and what much of today’s noisy chatter ignores.
When we respect the experiences of others and give them the courtesy of listening with intent, we embolden and strengthen them. That’s a wonderful gift that takes nothing from the giver but patience and understanding.
On this first day of the new year, my resolution is to work hard on respect. Respecting others with different views, differing looks, differing objectives.
They say it is better to give than to get, but it seems to me the opposite is true when it comes to respect.
Different cultures show respect in different ways & therefore the more travelled & the more ‘worldly’ you are the better prepared you are to be a part of that cultural respect.
A lot of Australians find that they have to explain to people from other cultures that we ‘Aussies’, & especially my generation, show our love, admiration & yes respect towards each other by good natured ribbing & by poking fun at each other; seemingly being disrespectful towards each other.
The more we ‘turn it up’ the more respect we are showing towards each other, because, well, the alternative of being politically correct all the time & treating others with ‘kitt gloves’ means that there is ‘an unnecessary distance’ between people.
To some it’s hard to explain; you either get it or you don’t.
When you give an Aussie ‘some sh!t’ with an accompanying laugh or just a wry smile, then he knows that you’re on his level of ‘human contact’
We are not a nation that wants to be wrapped in cotton wool & our boisterousness can very easily be misunderstood by other cultures.
Our New Zealand cousins are generally the same.
Personally I find it refreshing when the children of immigrants to Australia become part of our ‘disrespectful culture’ understanding that it’s a kind of reverse metaphor.
Some of us do find political correctness & always having to walk on eggshells in case we accidently disrespect someone… well… ‘vomitworthy’ 🙂
I’ve always found honesty to be the best policy & by that I mean that if I cross someone’s ‘line’ in conversation then I expect to be pulled-up & told so, so that I can apologise, explain myself & refrain from doing it again to that person in future…no harm done.
Often people wont ‘pipe-up’ & then the opportunity is lost & we’re back to being boring &/or walking on eggshells.
Life’s a tightrope sometimes.
Oh….why didn’t you say that before Aussie ?
With this in mind I now have to reread all your posts from the last year to see if I’d missed anything…
Dutch…ma-a-ate!
You only have to go back four months; I’m still a relative ‘newbie’ 🙂
All the very best to you for 2020 my irreverent friend.
ps. you haven’t missed anything 😉
Great post fat rat. My friends and I are the same in the states. Busting somebody’s ….can I say balls??? Lol. Is a right of passage. We get it. There are many that don’t. It usually doesn’t translate well on the net unfortunately.
timm,
You can say whatever you like when you’re addressing me; my arrogance is like a shield of steel (Batfink)…hahaha 😉
Yes, on the ‘net’ you can’t see the accompanying ‘wry smile’ that goes with the ball busting’ comment…unless you’re Skyping.
I am first generation “Yank”, plus a mutt offspring from parents of wildly different countries and social backgrounds. So my social manners and beliefs sometimes rub people the wrong way (like some Aussies). Maybe this is Also one reason my ancestors never seemed to stay in one country more than one generation;-)
My rules for showing respect are simple. From someone who has bussed restaurant tables, and made presentations to USMC Generals. Sometimes in the same week.
1) Every stranger I meet deserves my full respect, until their actions prove its not justified. The man living in the street may deserve my respect more than the leader of a country.
2) No matter who you meet, introduce yourself with a smile and shake their hand. If they give their name or are wearing a name tag, remember it. Remembering a strangers name not only shows a person respect, they also cease to be a stranger. Each morning at work I greet the cafeteria workers and cleaning ladies by name, to the surprise of many coworkers. This isn’t just a courtesy, it is a sign of respect.
3) Say hello and ask a person if they are well before initiating any business. This applies to cashiers and CEOs. We are all more than just an occupation.
4) Always try and separate an individual’s personal beliefs from their job responsibilities. The person providing online support for a shitty product may hate their job, but also have children to feed.
Does this solve world conflicts? No. But it sure makes getting through the day a little better.
When a stranger marries into my family, you are not fully accepted until you feel comfortable both taking and giving humorous insults to your in-laws. No thick skins allowed in my family.
Aeroaudio,
Yes to 1) 2) 3) & 4)
But especially remembering & addressing by names!
On your point 4), if I’m dealing with an employee from a ‘shitty company’ I always say, “Please understand that I’m not pissed off with you (insert name), you are doing a terrific job dealing with my complaint, it’s your employer that I’m upset with & please understand that it’s not you”
Your last sentence; I think you may have meant ‘thin’ instead of ‘thick’?
But I know what you meant anyway 😉
Fat Rat,
You are correct, should have written thin, not thick. Considering it was New Years Day, after being out till the wee hours of the morning, I am surprised I was coherent at all;-P
Aeroaudio,
Excellent point…no disrespect! 😉
Just glad that you made it home in one piece 🙂
Sleep well!
Respect has to be earned. There’s a difference between it and courtesy.
When someone demands respect but doesn’t show courtesy in return is where I draw the line. They haven’t earned my respect. On the other hand even if a persons viewpoint is diametrically opposed to mine but they show the courtesy of listening then I have a level of respect.
There’s also having respect for a title or a position and that’s different than having respect for the person who holds that title.
I’m going to keep my resolution tangible. Have more fun listening to reproduced music and spend less time listening critically.
Happy New Year All
Mike,
Some very important distinctions that you’ve mentioned here…thanks for posting!
Best to you for 2020 too 🙂
(Consistent with the date and the topic)
Serve this, to give my testimony of admiration and heartfelt thanks to Paul McGowan.
I say admiration, because throughout the history of home audio there has NOT been a manufacturer that has worked and continues to do so, so tirelessly to position his brand beyond the most extensive limits of his own goal. This is the vision I have of Mr. McGowan’s work.
For which, he has created and successfully, his own effective means: Today’s video, Today’s podcast, Copper Magazine, Paul’s Post, not to mention his book.
All these means that could have been glimpsed and materialized by other manufacturers have not been, since only Paul’s mind conceived them.
And I also said thanks, because Paul´s Post with all its 56,080 visitors, constitutes a giant slate from where we can learn (thanks to the presentations of the participants and Paul) things related to audio, and also this, opens the possibility to make friends with everyone.
The unlimited fertility of his resources to expose topics day after day, year after year, is worthy of all praise.
I honestly believe that Pul McGowan has earned a place of honor, of course, fully deserved in the history of audio-industry, as it is today.
May this new year, bring intellectual growth and good health to the entire PSA family and particularly to the subscribers of this forum, and that in addition, the technical quality becomes preeminent in the writings of each one, for the good of all.
Happy 2020 to each and every one of you.
I second AudioMano’s emotion!
And just in case there are youngsters reading this–
“I Second That Emotion”–From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
“I Second That Emotion” is a 1967 song written by Smokey Robinson and Al Cleveland. First charting as a hit for Smokey Robinson and the Miracles on the Tamla/Motown label in 1967, “I Second That Emotion” was later a hit single for the group duet Diana Ross & the Supremes and The Temptations, also on the Motown label.
Song origin
One morning in 1967, Robinson and Cleveland were shopping at Hudson’s, a Detroit department store. Robinson found a set of pearls for his wife, Claudette. “They’re beautiful.” he said to the salesperson. “I sure hope she likes them.” Cleveland then added “I second that emotion.” Both songwriters laughed at Cleveland’s malapropism; he had meant to say “I second that motion.” The two were immediately inspired to write a song using the incorrect phrase.
Happy New Year Paul and the entire PSA Family, of which I consider myself a member!
Loyd
How very kind. Thank you. And Happy New Year!
Back at cha Paul!
You’re definitely one of a kind 🙂
Audiomano,
All the very best to you & yours for 2020 too!
Thanks Fat Rat:
That in 2020, life will give you twice what you want for me.
Audiomano,
Thank you, but I don’t think that my living room is big enough 😉
IMO there is a difference between civility and respect. Every person I encounter initially deserves civility and gets it unless and until that person does not show civility towards me. Respect on the other hand has to be earned by what people have done. It could be almost anything in any field. Even an act of kindness with no expectation of a reward deserves respect.
I learned that Ritz-Carlton has a motto: “We are Ladies and Gentlemen serving Ladies and Gentlemen”. Differences between civility and respect aside, I’ve tried to apply this in personal interactions (and have failed at times too, but it’s good to keep trying anyway).
Happy New Year!
Respect is causing others you are with to be relaxed. Plain and simple.
The society we are being programmed by today is anti-freedom. No respect if it gets its way.
You exemplify exemplary respect for others, Paul …and it‘s obvious it has already devolved to your staff. Thanks (and respect) for that kind of foundation you set for all your activities!
Respect is an Ideal and as such, it’s the most accurate way for being able to both, show and give Love to anyone along our lifetime. Respect has no boundaries, thus doesn’t allow for any misconception or philosophical arguing and is guided by Honesty. That’s why, as another great music performer sang (and still does),
“…Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you…”
Blessings for you Paul and for your much respected loved ones. Best of Health, Love and Peace for 2020 and beyond.
Hey Paul appreciate your thoughtfulness, not enough spread around these days. I was feeling a little low down after New Years eve. then this happened. … I was walking the dog through the neighborhood. Picked up a letter in the gutter. It was addressed to a house down the block, to a disabled guy who served in Viet Nam, nobody talks to him, he has a brain injury, and walks with a limp. I guess most people think he has an attitude. His truck has a worn out “Hanoi Jane” sticker in the back window, always parked in his driveway. Last summer I struck up a conversation with him, turns out he can’t get his vehicle in the garage because he has a huge model train set up in there, and he invited me in to see it. Anyway back to the letter.. I ring the door bell and his wife answers the door. I tell her the mail man must have dropped it … She says “Oh my god” that’s his pension check, they were panicked cause they should have got it before Christmas, and they couldn’t reach the issuer because of the holidays. And she doesn’t know if they needed to stop payment. Anyway she just grabs me with the biggest bear hug, saying thank you , thank you, she’s crying. Sure you.. your welcome, glad to help. Walk back home, my girl says, what’s up, why are you upset, I tell her and more hugs and tears…. Great start to the New Year!
Michaeldavitt,
Priceless!!
More hugs from here as well. So nice to be in an extended family with members like you. Happy and Healthy New Year to you and all of us.