Adjectives vs. nouns

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Near the end of summer Terri and I decided one way to get out of the house without worrying too much about being unsafe was to take advantage of Boulder’s many bike trails. Our city has 300 miles of bikeway, including 96 miles of bike lanes, 84 miles of multi-use paths, and 50 miles of designated bike routes. Seems like we could spend quite a lot of time enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.

First, we’d need bikes. But, as an avowed nerd engineer, I determined it couldn’t be just any bike, and thus hour upon hour of research ensued. What I was hoping for was an electric-assist bicycle that we could easily store in the back of the car should we wish to take them to one of Colorado’s many parks. Given the size of my car that meant the bikes had to be foldable and lightweight. A rather tall order.

I finally found the perfect bike. They are from the Stark company. Pretty cool story. There’s even a heartfelt video from the founder, Oscar Stark. Their website offers both custom ordered or in-stock versions. They’re not cheap, but we bought into the story and ordered a pair.

That was at the beginning of September. As November marches forward we still have no bikes.

Turns out the words “in stock” and “available for immediate delivery” doesn’t have the same meaning to everyone.

Our bikes are stuck somewhere in China.

Why am I writing a blog post about it? Because the whole affair now makes me laugh and I just wanted to share.

After repeated emails to their customer service about why they continue to advertise their bikes as “in stock” and “available for immediate shipment”, after they notified me they have “no bikes in stock”, I finally received the following email.

“The pandemic has caused a problem with our stock levels which I can see by our correspondence has been mentioned to you multiple times. We use the word stock as an adjective, not a noun.”

Now, you tell me. Is this not the best and funniest response from a company you’ve ever read?

Really?