Based on “MacArthur Park” by Jimmy Webb, as recorded by Richard Harris

     

    The Linn was never waiting for us, Frank,
    It ran one step ahead
    As we followed in this dance
    Between The Beatles and Katy Lied, which were pressed
    In a 1970s fevered slab of hot, black plastic from MoFi,
    No transparent “Yellow Submarines” at 33 and 1/3, all bits.

    McGowan Park is melting all LPs
    All the silver polycarbonate reflectors are in
    backpacks at the Grand Canyon, but…
    Someone left the Linn out in the rain.
    I don’t think that I can run it, Ivor, again,
    ‘Cause it took so long to tune it,
    And I’ll never get that perfect bounce again:
    Oh no!

    I recall you with the Goldmund on your rack,
    Exuding gravitas,
    On the floor, around your MITs,
    The Weavers, like tender babes in Chad’s hands,
    And the old folks playing fiddles in that Hall called…Carne…gie.

    McGowan Park is melting on the dark side of the moon,
    All the Flaming Lips’ transparent pink chords flow down.
    Someone left Yoshimi in the rain, again.
    I don’t think I can replace it,
    ‘Cause it took so long to find it,
    And I’ll never buy on eBay (with PayPal) again.
    Oh no!

    Linn Sondek LP12 turntable.

    Linn Sondek LP12 turntable.

     

    There will be another Ekos for me
    For I will sing of Jelco and deflect those poisoned AROs,
    Yes, I will have another LP12 Lingo for me,
    Someone will bring it from Glasgow, for sure,
    I will drink the Macallan 25, though it’s not young,
    And never let you catch me looking at a Talisker 18,
    And after all the nude styli of my life
    After all the MC carts I have replaced
    You’ll still be my one Troika.

    I will lower the stylus into the groove with a lift
    Because this really isn’t a Naim ARO, and I do like lifters.
    Plus, I will play the songs that I remember, and new ones;
    And bass will flow like a river through my home.
    And after all the CDs I have trashed,
    Oh, after all the vinyls I have saved,
    I’ll be thinking of Linn,
    And wondering, “Why? I have a JRT Rossini already.”

    McGowan’s Scotch is melting all the ice,
    All the sweet, gold liquor runs amok.
    But someone left Mikey out in the rain;
    And I don’t think that he can take it,
    ‘Cause the LP12, he replaced it,
    And he hasn’t cared about Linn since he got an RPM-2 with a Capella arm in ‘93,

    Oh yes!!!

    Oh yes!!!

    Yes

    Oh no …

    “1 2 3 4 5 6 7
    All good children go to Scotland”

     

    Header image: Richard Harris as Professor Albus Dumbledore, promotional photo.

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