Audiophile Heaven, Revisited

Audiophile Heaven, Revisited

Written by Andy Schaub

What will the audiophile section of heaven be like? Andy pondered it briefly in Issue 149, and pays another visit here:
  1. There will be a Hawaiian lagoon with PerfectWaves controlled by Paul McGowan.
  2. All the floors are made from vintage Magneplanar woofer panels powered by Audio Research all-vacuum-tube monoblock amps from 1978.
  3. Everyone has Eames chairs in their listening rooms and they never, ever hurt.
  4. No one can speak any four-letter word with "os" in the middle, like "Bose."
  5. CDs last forever but no one cares.
  6. Plasma tweeters are still a thing.
  7. Saying the words "psychologically irrelevant" gets you a celestial time out.
  8. Cables do not matter, ever; but they are all very thin and cheap.
  9. Ivor Tiefenbrun spells angel "ainjell."
  10. Record cleaning fluid flows from a natural fountain, works flawlessly, tastes like Louis XIII, and is free.
Is it safe to clean records with alcohol? Here's a very expensive way to try: Louis XIII cognac from Remy Martin. Is it safe to clean records with alcohol? Here's a very expensive way to try: Louis XIII cognac from Remy Martin.
Header image: Hawaiian lagoon, courtesy of Pixabay.com/Michelle Raponi.
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