Vinyls

Vinyls

Written by Andy Schaub

To the tune of “Royals” by Lorde

I’ve never seen a diamond except on a stylus
I cut my teeth on Discwasher and Zerostat
And I’m not proud of my streaming DAC
In a big black box, looks impressive
But every song’s like
Gold teeth chomping on glass menageries of spinning CDs
Bloodstains, flywheels, trashin’ the 45 rpms from Music Matters
We don’t care
We’re spinning Goldmunds in our dreams
But everybody’s like
Roon, Spotify, TIDAL on your iPhone
Jet planes, VPI, miles of gold cables
We don’t care
We aren’t caught up in your love affair

And we’ll always love vinyls (vinyls)
It just runs in our blood
That kind of luxe is just for us
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your tonearm (baby)
You can call me unipivot
And baby, I’ll track (I’ll track, I’ll track, I’ll track)
Let me live that fantasy

My friends and I, we’ve cracked the code
We count our dollars as they flow into the ether
And everyone who knows us knows
That we’re not OK with this, we didn’t come from money
But every song’s like got some noise but still we love it
RCA, Decca, trippin’ in the listening room
Bloodstains, Doshi, trashin’ the hotel room at CES
We don’t care
We’re spinning vinyls in our dreams
But everybody’s like
Jarrett, Yo-Yo, Lorde in Copper, sort of
Jet planes, Fremer, tigers on a gold leash
We don’t care
We aren’t caught up in your love affair

And we’ll always love vinyls
It don’t run except at 33 and a third for us
That kind of luxe is surely us
We crave a JRT Dark Star kind of buzz
Let me be your tonearm (sadly not Jelco anymore)
You can call me DJ Andy
And baby, I’ll rule (I’ll rule, I’ll rule, I’ll rule)
Let me live that fantasy

Oh
Oh (oh, oh)
It’s bigger than we ever dreamed
And I’m in love with being king
Oh
Oh (oh, oh)
Life is great without a CD player
We aren’t caught up in your love affair

And we’ll never love CDs (yada)
It don’t run at 24/192 for us
That kind of bandwidth just ain’t for us
We crave a different kind of beat
Let me play you vinyls
You can call me on another day, please
And baby, I’ll spin (I’ll spin, I’ll spin, I’ll spin)
Let me live that fantasy

Header image courtesy of Pexels.com/cottonbro.


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